


Caught Between Hating and Loving You

by allfireburns



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Introspection, M/M, POV Third Person, Pre-Canon, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-26
Updated: 2009-11-26
Packaged: 2017-10-03 18:40:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allfireburns/pseuds/allfireburns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Given a choice between Jack and Yvonne, Ianto thinks his life would be easier with Yvonne.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Caught Between Hating and Loving You

It takes Ianto some time to adjust to the difference between Jack and Yvonne. Yvonne always gave the impression of knowing everything, an offhand comment, a knowing look, while not seeming to care terribly about any of it; Jack has this way of watching like some sort of great predator, never saying anything of import but silently weighing every word and action. Yvonne approached the universe with brash arrogance, assured in the superiority of Torchwood and the British Empire over everything else; Jack has a talent for giving the appearance of cocky self-assurance while never pushing too far, risking too much. Yvonne knew everyone by name, but always maintained an appropriate, professional distance; Jack asks how he is, and Ianto suspects he might actually care.

At the moment, given a choice between the two, Ianto's fairly certain he would choose Yvonne. Yvonne would be easier to deal with.

Jack runs into him once, coming up from visiting Lisa, and Ianto makes some awkward excuse about getting the lay of the land, so to speak. Jack smiles at him, like it doesn't occur to him to disbelieve, but there's something in his eyes that makes Ianto skittish about going near Lisa for weeks.

Jack touches him, just on the shoulder or back, passing by or leaning over his shoulder to look at his computer screen or it _doesn't matter what_ \- Ianto's heart jumps and his shoulders tense in an instinctive fight or flight response that he always just barely manages to clamp down, shove away to the back of his mind.

Jack smiles at him – that's all it takes – and Ianto's stomach twists in guilt and fear and nervousness, while he brushes it off with a smile and a wry comment. He wants to tell Jack everything, and ask him for a way to fix it. He wants to run far away from all of this, and pretend Torchwood, Canary Wharf, _Lisa_ never happened. He wants so much, and he can't have or do any of it.

The more he thinks about it, the more he feels it would be easier if he could just _hate_ Jack and be done with it.


End file.
